When women come to me after a breakup, some of the first questions I hear them ask are, “ My relationship ended! Why did this happen? What could I have done to prevent this?”
Obviously, these are very open-ended questions. Guys will leave for a ton of reasons, and sometimes, they don’t even know why at the time. However, after a little bit of digging into the past–once you are feeling better about the breakup, of course–you can reveal secrets about yourself that you had no idea you had. After uncovering many of these secrets for my clients, I’ve found that these reasons all seem to be about balance.
Balance While Dating
Balance is being able to address all the needs of the relationship as it progresses and making sure that you continue to address these needs in order to keep the relationship growing. If you are extremely sexy, you will undoubtedly attract men to you. However, if you don’t have the playfulness to balance out the sexy exterior, guys may find you to be a bit controlling or standoffish. If you are a hardworking employee for your company and choose overtime instead of dates, you may be perceived as boring. Find the balance! Make sure you have more than one attractive quality about you that balances out the other quality.
The Qualities You Possess
If you are thinking to yourself, “Chris, I don’t have any good qualities,” then I’m going to stop you right there. Every single woman, regardless of who she is, has a strong quality that is extremely attractive to men. It may be your sense of humor and playfulness. It might be your feminine side. It could be your self-confidence and ambition. No matter what it is, I know that YOU have it. Think about yourself and what makes you attractive. Now think about the other side of the spectrum. If you have the self-confidence and ambition of a Fortune 500 millionaire, do you also have the sense of adventure to draw you away from your work? If you are feminine and caring, do you also have the playful side to keep others excited and wanting to hang out with you?
This balance isn’t just about keeping him interested–it’s about making him addicted to you. It keeps him always coming back for more, because he wants to see which side of you he gets to explore on any given day. Will it be the fun side who suggests an impromptu road trip for the weekend, or will it be the ambitious side who talks about her plans to move up in her company? The mystery of each coming day will keep him hooked on you.
Now obviously, there is a lot more to creating addiction than just balance, but it is the critical first step. I encourage you to take a look at yourself and really find what it is that you love most. Find the balance, focus on it, and own it. Your relationships will stick, and men will be irresistibly draw in. Tell me in the comments below what your strengths are, as well as your weaknesses!